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Origami!  What an exciting subject!  Okay, well, maybe not. 

I think it’s cool that the Japanese can fold pieces of paper and get it to look like something else.  My problem with it is, why does it always have to be a swan, or a flower or a swan or a flower.. or a flower that looks like a swan?  Why can’t they fold paper into more interesting shapes?

So I’m going to pretend I’ve written a new Origami book.   And I’m going to send out the book proposal email to various literary agents and see what they think.

 

Original email sent to various literary agents:

Dear agent,

I have been doing origami for many years.  I know what you’re thinking, dear agent.  You’re thinking “Oh, no.  Not another proposal for an origami book!”
Well, I’ll have you know I am no ordinary origamist.  No, sir!

I have spent years perfecting the art of folding paper to resemble obscene objects.  This work has culminated in my new book: “The Filthy Origamist.”

In this book, I combine the ancient Japanese art of paper folding with the ancient American tradition of smut.  My book will describe the history of Japanese origami which has its origins in ceremonial paper folding.  I will also include a section on Joseph Albers, the father of modern color theory and minimalistic art who taught origami and paper folding in the 1920s and 30s.

The last section of my book will contain designs and photographs of what I call “Filthy Origami.”  Some examples of “Filthy Origami” include “The Floating Beaver”, “The Lotus Reverse 69” and “”Flogging the Dolphin.”

I think “The Filthy Origamist” will appeal to people who have an interest in the ancient Oriental art of paper-folding as well as perverts in general.  You have to admit, these are two groups of society that probably do not have a huge overlap.  Since these groups are almost mutually exclusive, I believe my book will have wide appeal.

Please let me know if you have any questions about this book.  Also, let me know if you would like to see a complete proposal for this book.

Thank You
Edward Lister

 

 Response from a Literary Agency in London:

Dear Edward,

Thank you for your e-mail. Unfortunately, however, we’re not currently taking on any more authors. Sorry for the disappointing news.

I do hope you can find another literary agent to represent you, Edward, and let me wish you the very best in your literary pursuits.

kind regards,

Darin

 

Response from a Literary Agency in Australia:

Dear Edward

Original idea and thanks for thinking of us. But my view is this will struggle to find a market, and so I’ll politely decline.

regards
John

 

Response from a Literary Agency in England:

Dear Edward,

Thank you for your email. This isn’t quite what I am looking for at present.

Do try other agencies.

Best wishes,

Isabel

 

The Floating Beaver

 

 

 

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